VV says: Married for 12 years before thinking about getting divorced, VV shares that he had no plans to leave his wife — until she had a torrid affair with a fireman. “After that, she had no problem with me leaving as she thought she was in love with him. When I found out, I thought she had gone temporarily insane. In fact, I think all people who have affairs are temporarily insane because they’re willing to destroy everything they had in their lives for a period of lustful excitement.”
How long did it take for VV to decide to divorce? “It took me two months to realize the affair wasn’t going to end. She kept yelling at me to leave. It was excruciating.”
What kept him from wanting to end the marriage? “Hope. But I wasn’t in a position to wait. I wanted our relationship to work out. I truly thought she has just gone temporarily insane. And then I realized this was for real; it was the end.”
Today? “Since we finally divorced in 2015, my life has been exhilarating! I am amazed. I admit that I was a hermit for a long while and basically did nothing to advance my love life for two years because our son was often with me. Now that he is older, my life is awesome — and very different from anything I could have imagined. In 2020, I moved across the country to California to start a new job with a new lifestyle. I now have a purpose, and that has made all the difference.”
Is VV happier? “Yes, very happy!
And his x-wife? “She goes in and out of relationships and cohabitations about every 6 to 8 months. It’s bizarre to me that this is her choice. But I have come to accept her.”
How are his kids doing? “My son is doing well, despite all that he has witnessed in the last 7 years. To my chagrin, he will probably have relationship issues later in life; I believe his mother treats him as if he’s an adult, which is not the case. If I were king, all children should be sheltered from emotional outbursts and financial issues. But that’s not the case in too many families.”
Looking forward: “I may get married again, and I am sad to say that I will be very cautious.
VV’s advice for others: “Don’t stay in a relationship with a person that’s on psychotropic medications. At the first sign, pull the ripcord! Take your time to get to know the person and meet their mother — she is often a good indicator of how your woman was raised and who she may become. And, perhaps most importantly of all, try to be sure that your relationship is not one-sided. Wait, I take that back. The most important thing is to laugh — a lot!”
What resources did you use to help you get through the pain of your divorce? “Church, and the Universe! My advice is to stay healthy and workout. Most importantly: Stay away from negative people. Keep smiling. I promise it gets better.”