Married for a decade before divorcing after 20 years of marriage, Hilary says she finally left because “my husband was verbally abusive. We fought all of the time. He didn’t think things were that bad between us and initially resisted. Then he became even more verbally abusive as the separation began.”
She admits she wanted to leave him years earlier, but “the thought of how the divorce would effect my children kept me in it. Also, I had fear around being able to support myself on my own.”
In the years since she took the brave step, Hilary shares that her life has been peaceful: “No fighting, no anger, one telling me that I am not good at anything. I am infinitely more happy.”
Her spouse, she says, is also doing well. “He moved on quickly to new relationships, and to be honest my kids were happy about the divorce. They are twins, 27 now, and complained that all their parents ever did was fight. So when I finally had the courage to leave, they support me and now see me as a positive role model for leaving someone who was abusive.”
Lessons learned:
- Would she divorce again? “If I was in a similar situation I would,” she says. “It’s never ok to be in an abusive relationship. Ever.”
- Would she remarry? “I am not sure. It’s been almost 10 years since my divorce, and I still do not have a desire to take the plunge again. But you never know.”
