“I was married for three years before I began thinking about getting divorced,” says Still Growing, who explains that he loved his spouse and wanted to stay with her. “But in reality, the foundation of our relationship had crumbled. We were headed down different paths, and parting ways was for the best.”

How did his spouse feel about the decision? “She was the one who asked for a divorce. Initially, I was devastated. Now, I am grateful that it happened. The process took eight months, and I struggled to acknowledge the red flags, flaws, and challenges within the relationship. I made excuses for behavior that I knew, deep down, didn’t work for me.”

Married at 23, Still Growing is now 34, and says the last decade has been a wild journey of travel, growth, activism, career shifts, and more. “After the divorce, I moved back to be closer to my family, find my center, and the new version of myself.  I am happier, more grounded, more fulfilled, and more loved.”

As for his spouse, Still, Growing says that the last he heard, she remarried, has two kids, “and is doing fine. We haven’t connected in any way in over 3 years. We didn’t have kids of our own, but then I understand that the rabbit and cat we adopted together are doing fine, too.”

Would he divorce again? If so, would you do anything differently? “I would do whatever I think is best for me, any children I might have, and my spouse,” he says. “I will have a prenuptial agreement before my next marriage to ensure transparency, communication, and a shared vision.”

What lessons will he take into that next relationship? I will stay true to myself and be honest about what’s in my heart and my head.”

Here’s Still Growing’s advice for others going through the divorce experience: “It’s okay to admit the parts of your spouse or your relationship that are less than ideal,” he insists. “This doesn’t mean that it’s destined to fail. It does, however, keep you in touch with reality. It allows you to address issues, grow, and move forward.”